I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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