Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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