I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
