I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
