Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I am naked and annoyed.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
