I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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