I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
