my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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