Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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