But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
