dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
