So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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