We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
