Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
