all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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