Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
