Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize