Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
