1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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