dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
