I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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