we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
