Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
