The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
