Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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