thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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