would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
