What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
