Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
