rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
