if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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