You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
someone owes me an orgasm
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
