Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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