Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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