yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
