"it" just moved
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
