It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize