Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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