I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
