dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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