But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
