He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
