So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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