He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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