Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
