I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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