they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize