I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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