I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
