Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You've changed since you got that strap on
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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