Is it normal to miss your booty call?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
