I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
