I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
