Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
