Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
