DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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