I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
