I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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