wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
