Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
