From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
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