Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
