just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
